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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There may be reasons why your family are no longer taking care of their home well. It could be their vision isn't great. It could be depression or finances. It could just be inertia when it comes to dealing with things that are not entirely pleasant.

That said, for the most part the problems that you cite are not health and safety emergencies right now. The problems are enough that I wouldn't love eating at their house, however. It's important to remember that you can't control others, only your own reaction. You can say something. You can even say that it's bothersome enough that you don't want to do family meals with the in-laws. But as long as they are of sound minds and bodies, you really can't take charge of their home and decisions about that home. [/quote]

This is the most reasonable advice here.

(And no, I don’t think it’s reasonable to somehow “demand” a competent adult fix-up their house. Unless things have gotten to the point where you are looking to a court to award you guardianship, you have to take “no” for an answer.)[/quote]

Those who think the solution is simple obviously haven't been there. Unless you want to have your parents declared incompetent, you can't force them to do anything. You'll probably end up being denied access to their house. You can offer to help, but you can't do anything if they say no.  
[/quote]

No, you can't stomp into your parents' house and demand that they fix it up, pare down and clean it better.  You can gently suggest that they might want to participate in the community yard sale.  If they want you to drag some stuff out of the attic or the basement you'll be happy to help out.

You can also say "Oh dear, it looks like that bathroom leak left a bad stain on the couch.  You should call for a bulk trash pickup, we can help you get that out to the curb."

Do they have a linen closet full of old sheets and towels?  They probably only use a few of them.  Maybe you could ask if they would be willing to donate them to an animal rescue where they would be much appreciated and well used.

It's just a matter of breaking it down into smaller tasks and getting the process started.  But it needs to get started.  Once they get going it becomes easier. I'm not sure if Op's in-laws have a ton of stuff or not.  But the goal would be to get things to a point where they could move out fairly easy and quickly if they had to.  [/quote]

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