Reply to Should mothers inform older teen sons if they’re “friend zoned”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had to give my son a talk about the way girls communicate.

Boy: want to go out with me?
Girl: um, maybe I don't know.

Boy: didn't get told no, so thinks he should keep asking.

Boy: So, want to go out Friday night?
Girl: Welllll ... I think I'm busy Friday
Boy: Oh. So want to go out Saturday?
Girl: I'm babysitting.

Boy:  didn't get told she doesn't WANT to go on a date, so thinks it's just a scheduling conflict.

I had to explain to him that girls are taught not to say no, and if he doesn't get a firm yes after two asks, he needs to mentally hear a "no" and move on.  If the girl wanted to date him, she would say "I'm babysitting, but I could do something Saturday afternoon/next Friday night."

*Yes, I know they don't really date anymore.  It's an old-fashioned example.[/quote]

[b]It's also true that girls are socialized, no matter how badly they want to go to the dance with a boy, to say, "no."[/b]

If she says yes she's a slut.

This is part of the "national conversation" we are NOT having, girls' and women's deeply ingrained courtship behavior that forces men to pursue them.  [/quote]

are you a man who has been told "no" a lot, and you justify it this way?  when I was a teen- and same for nowadays, according to the teen girls i know at least- no one says "no" to a request to go to prom, homecoming, etc if they like the guy.  in fact, most girls will say "yes" to a prom or homecoming date request even if they were hoping ot go with someone else because they ahve been conditioned NOT to say no.  total opposite. [/quote]

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