Reply to Kids don’t want to play with neighbors grandson

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You teach your kids to play with the child that is left out. You challenge your child by asking “who did you help today at school?” “Who did you try to include today?”

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And he does. But he does not want to play with certain kids and I am not going to force him to play with kids he is not comfortable with. [/quote]

Ha ha yeah right.  You and your child sound like role models of inclusion.  You do t “force your child to play with kids he is not comfortable with”. You TEACH your child that kids have different strengths and weaknesses. You help your child identify when someone is being excluded and could use a little kindness. You help your child understand that they get stinger when they learn how to deal with adversity and things that make them a little uncomfortable. This exact situation happened to us- nearly exactly. Guess what- we made a little routine out of it. We played a little catch with a child who was socially awkward, lonely, and desperate for friends, and my son learned to be kind to him. Were they bff’s? No. But we certainly didn’t actively avoid him. It was 15-20 minutes of my child doing a non-preferred activity every couple of days one summer, and it was FINE. [/quote]
OP agree. Try hours a day. My kids and other neighborhood boys are out all day. Not 15 minutes. So even if they play with this boy for 15 minutes, he’s pestering them the rest of the day before and after. Should they have to give up the rest of their summer to the demands of this boy? You can raise pushovers, but I’m not.

Thanks everyone who responded. [/quote]

It's for two more weeks OP.  Have you tried to come up with any strategies with your children for helping to include him?  Or is that raising a "pushover".  I mentioned my son before - he is 14 now and anything but a pushover - he has just learned how to be kind and patient.  Think carefully about the lesson you will be teaching your children this summer.  You can teach them that Larlo is annoying and it is ok to avoid him, or you can teach them that Larlo struggles socially and it would be a great opportunity for your kids to think about how they can show some leadership and creativity in this situation and figure out how to include him.  You could tell them that a few weeks of kindness might make a lifetime of difference to that child or the grandparents, who are your neighbors and friends.  Other posters are correct that it is unreasonable to expect a 9 year old to navigate this.  That is where you come in.  You have to guide them a little bit.  it's a great opportunity for your kids.  I can already tell you will squander it, and your kids will exclude him for the last two weeks of summer, but thank goodness your kids are not inconvenienced.  [/quote]

DP here. You are delusional. [/quote]

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