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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]OP you need to go to counseling right away. This is definitely your problem. People do not deserve to be screamed at because they stayed calm. People do not deserve to be screamed at full stop.

The police came. Because of you. And you still think your husband is the problem? Your husband is not the problem. You need to get yourself some help ASAP[/b]. [/quote]This. Good lord yes. Your husband speaks to you calmly and you scream at him? YOU are the problem. The sooner you acknowledge this and deal with you being the problem, the better for everyone.[/quote]
Wrong.

She's learned this pattern in some misguided effort to get him to engage, plus she's angry that he won't ever, and he never will...which is actually scary.  It isn't about the trash. It is about his long term continuous "not giving a crap" about anything. She's angry that he doesn't care, and, frankly he doesn't. That makes her feel worthless. Over time it becomes apparent that it isn't a relationship at all, just a living arrangement.

He is possibly on the spectrum OR
He has learned to never engage in conflict due a parent that was all about conflict OR
He is dead inside because of depression, mental illness.

No, she isn't the one with the overall problem other than the fact that he will never be a real person, and she's conflicted on what to do about it.

She needs to understand that racheting it up won't get him to rachet it up. He's just a zombie. She can take it or leave it, but emotion won't breed emotion here.

[/quote]

+1000
Spot on if this is his MO for “communicating” with Op.[/quote]

[img]https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6wNPCa05sBVcnvi0/giphy.gif[/img][/quote]

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