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[quote=Anonymous]It is common for people be it male or female to
"shut down" i.e. not engage when they are in a verbally
abusive relationship.

Again, in a verbally abusive relationship it is common
for the spouse being verbally abusive to "shut down"
and not engage.  It is easier and why should they
rock the boat.

If the neighbors called the cops due to yelling there
is a huge problem.  Escalating to a one sided
screaming match is way out of proportion to 
a spouse throwing some items out.

Get professional long term counseling for yourself.  
Work on yourself first.  See a professional for anger
management.  Then I'd look into long term
marriage counseling.

Signed...a woman who had a verbally abusive
husband who turned on a dime and would
go off yelling at me sometimes for up to a 1/2 hour
over extremely minor stuff.  I "shut down" too.
You can't engage with someone who is irrationally
yelling at you. I would not have written a list either.
Writing a list for things to discuss would just
cause  my husband to fly off and yell about more stupid stuff and irrational stuff.

I feel for they guy who is most likely trying to
keep the peace and not have the cops called.[/quote]

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