Reply to adopting a child who is the product of rape

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[quote=Anonymous]Please don't tell your child that s/he is the product of rape. It may not even be true, and you run the risk of really traumatizing your child.

My parents made a – sort of - similar revelation to me, and it was painful. When I was 8 or 9 years old, they told me that my mother had almost died while she was pregnant with me. They told me this in the presence of my older siblings, who promptly made a number of derogatory comments about my having almost killed my mother. After my parents reacted to these comments in a way that suggested they agreed with my siblings, I formed an awful image of myself as a monster in utero. It wasn’t until my early twenties when I carefully asked my mother about the difficulties she’d experienced during her pregnancy that I was able to erase that image. She explained that she had almost miscarried me. That was all.

You’re planning on telling DC when s/he is a lot older than I was when my parents shared their story with me, and the language of your posting makes me feel pretty sure you’ll be kind and appropriate in the way you share this information. Believe me, this information will still have a strong impact. Please don’t share this information which, again, may not even be true.
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