Reply to My identity is too wrapped up in my kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I either talk about my kids or pop culture because I’m not interested in sharing anything of myself with coworkers I’m not close to. [/quote]

+1   But apparently we need to cross the kids off the list. [/quote]

I do not talk about my kids at work or pregnancies. And then I was told by my male manager at my performance evaluation that other coworkers thought that was cold. You can't win! I work in a 100% female environment. My pregnancies were IVF and I had lots of health issues, so I wasn't comfortable talking about them at all (I lost a 20+ week pregnancy). During my pregnancy, one of my meaner coworkers told me she knew I wasn't happy to be pregnant, but they liked being included in my pregnancies. Another coworker thought I didn't like children because I didn't want to discuss mine. None of which could be further from the truth. I love them to pieces, but I really want to keep things professional. Plus it's weird being the only 30 year old when everyone else is 55-65 years old. They don't understand and are judgy. "I don't know why young moms still rear face their poor toddlers." Or snide comments about pumping breastmilk. If I say anything about my kids, they'll just say they had it harder and how easy it is for moms now. I've encountered this dynamic before too at a previous job. FWIW I'm a lawyer and all my coworkers are paralegals or admins.  [/quote]

I think the point is there has to be a middle ground.  OP only talks about her children.  You never talk to your children.  Both are extremes.  The normal thing and what seems to be what your co-workers are hinting at is that you mention a little about your kids, just enough to be polite, but not overwhelm.  In general, office chit-chat is supposed to be succinct.  Mention your kids in general.  Mention your pregnancy a little and then move on.  So if you are pregnant and someone asks how you are, it's fine to say that the second trimester is tough, but you're doing okay and then move on.  If you have kids and you never mention them at all, then it does seem cold.  But if you mention them briefly and just in general ways, that's fine.  So talking about your child getting ready to go to kindergarten or that your kids are so excited that your mother is coming to visit is fine.  One comment each conversation briefly mentioning your kids is normal.  If they want more, they can ask questions and you can provide more info, but most people will feel like your co-workers, that it is odd that you never mention them at all.[/quote]

Doesn’t matter.  No senior male would ever criticized for not chatting enough about his children.  Wtf.  [/quote]

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