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[quote=Anonymous]It is quite obvious from an outsiders perspective that OP really doesn't want to go and is happy to have his wife be his scape goat about what is clearly his family's and his noncommunication/mistreatement of adults.

If his mom really wanted to celebrate the birthday you don't just assume people will clear their calendars (life happens especially with kids). You let people know in advance what day, what time, whats included in the activity. If you schedule something without letting people actually know then you really need to be ok with people not showing up. It sounds like they don't even want OP there on Saturday. So his wife should just sit around waiting for her inlaws to make plans and then exclude them from part of the party?

OP, your mom seems like a narc and you the perpetual victim. Your wife never told you not to go. Go if it means so much to you to celebrate part of Sunday with a family who doesn't even care enough about you to invite you to Saturday fund. 
Go, go and feel like crap next to your golden brother, listen to your mom complain all day about something and your dad probally doesn't give a  rats ass and prefers to nap all day. 
You have the issue, you solve it. But to be honest, your family does not sound any better than your 'crazy' inlaws. At least they seem to love and want to see their kid.[/quote]

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