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[quote=Anonymous]Op it is on you to ring up ahead of time and organise the weekend.  As it is an annual thing yes I think your wife is being passive aggressive by booking in something else without first checking in with you.

I wouldn't put this between your wife and your mom.  This is really up to you to fix.

I would go the other weekend to see your Dad for his birthday.  Your wife has already made plans, so go the other weekend or the next weekend.

It doesn't sound like you enjoy celebrating with your golden child brother anyway.  If you can't make it this year, so be it.  Your still visiting, your just doing it on your schedule.  It's one year, it really doesn't matter if you are a weekend late.

If your mom complains then tell her that you have a busy family now and she will need to get in touch with you sooner to give the dates of things she is organising if she wants you to attend.

Stand by your wife's prior commitments and make another date to visit for your dad's birthday.  Oh and you are the one that communicates this to your wife and your mother.  It actually is your responsibility, no one else's.[/quote]

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