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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The BIG O is from PIV. You know it when you have it.[/quote]

Orgasm hierarchy: We fetishize woman having an orgasm from intercourse alone but only 4% of women can orgams that way OKAY??!!!

Prioritizing/privileging male pleasure (men get off from intercourse with little problem) and undervaluing female pleasure (need external/clit stil) is at the heart of the orgasm gap.[/quote]

I’m a woman PP you responded to.  The 96% of women that don’t experience that - I used to be in that camp. I’m not anymore. Tell me how? Magic? A man? No. It was me and my insistence to own my body, like mindfulness but for sex, finding out what I physically like with toys. And no distraction of another person. That’s how I first experienced it. Once I knew what got me there, I knew how to get it, the ball was in my court and I could cal the shots. Full stop.

It’s not that there aren’t valid reasons and true circumstances where women cannot experience orgasm from pIV. Or pIA. Or even Cl. I know there are serious complications and I’m not making light of that. I understand also the changes we experience through trauma, childbearing, and those same differences are gifts.

I think that as women, a lot of us aren’t comfortable, secure and confident enough in our bodies to fully relax and experience the physiological release that’s nexessary to have a big O from PIV. We leave it too much about emotions, are all up in our heads, and are way too tense. Each of our brains have been programmed with mixed experiences of joy,trauma, or crappy sex and we just assume that’s it. But 96% is A LOT. That’s most women! Just because 96% of slaves were illiterate ar one point doesn’t mean it’s dumb to raise your hand and try to read, change the status qou. And you can reprogram your brain. Don’t you think its possible that maybe we were created equal but differen, but an act that creates life itself is one both mother and father experience orgasm from?  Even together? Imagine the bonding with that. And that just maybe we can come more than one way and enjoy sex as much as men? There is data out there for any argument you want to make. You just have to have the resources to prove it.  Everything else is evolving, why not that.

Like I said, I couldn’t have a big O most of my life. I think women get their drive in 40s because they stop GAF and try to get theirs for once, and enjoy it. Men do it all the time, it’s much easier for them because it’s not solely emotional and they partition their brains differently. It’s as relaxing as a foot rub or a scalp massage.

I do NOT undervalue female pleasure. I’m a huge advocate for it, but change starts with us knowing our bodies. Then you can teach the man what you want. Or discover it together. But the ideA that it’s men who own all the responsibility for good sex and making a woman come is a hat had me missing out on good sex for so long. Why leave your physical satisfaction in another person’s hands completely? [/quote]

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