Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The BIG O is from PIV. You know it when you have it.

Orgasm hierarchy: We fetishize woman having an orgasm from intercourse alone but only 4% of women can orgams that way OKAY??!!!

Prioritizing/privileging male pleasure (men get off from intercourse with little problem) and undervaluing female pleasure (need external/clit stil) is at the heart of the orgasm gap.

I’m a woman PP you responded to. The 96% of women that don’t experience that - I used to be in that camp. I’m not anymore. Tell me how? Magic? A man? No. It was me and my insistence to own my body, like mindfulness but for sex, finding out what I physically like with toys. And no distraction of another person. That’s how I first experienced it. Once I knew what got me there, I knew how to get it, the ball was in my court and I could cal the shots. Full stop.

It’s not that there aren’t valid reasons and true circumstances where women cannot experience orgasm from pIV. Or pIA. Or even Cl. I know there are serious complications and I’m not making light of that. I understand also the changes we experience through trauma, childbearing, and those same differences are gifts.

I think that as women, a lot of us aren’t comfortable, secure and confident enough in our bodies to fully relax and experience the physiological release that’s nexessary to have a big O from PIV. We leave it too much about emotions, are all up in our heads, and are way too tense. Each of our brains have been programmed with mixed experiences of joy,trauma, or crappy sex and we just assume that’s it. But 96% is A LOT. That’s most women! Just because 96% of slaves were illiterate ar one point doesn’t mean it’s dumb to raise your hand and try to read, change the status qou. And you can reprogram your brain. Don’t you think its possible that maybe we were created equal but differen, but an act that creates life itself is one both mother and father experience orgasm from? Even together? Imagine the bonding with that. And that just maybe we can come more than one way and enjoy sex as much as men? There is data out there for any argument you want to make. You just have to have the resources to prove it. Everything else is evolving, why not that.

Like I said, I couldn’t have a big O most of my life. I think women get their drive in 40s because they stop GAF and try to get theirs for once, and enjoy it. Men do it all the time, it’s much easier for them because it’s not solely emotional and they partition their brains differently. It’s as relaxing as a foot rub or a scalp massage.

I do NOT undervalue female pleasure. I’m a huge advocate for it, but change starts with us knowing our bodies. Then you can teach the man what you want. Or discover it together. But the ideA that it’s men who own all the responsibility for good sex and making a woman come is a hat had me missing out on good sex for so long. Why leave your physical satisfaction in another person’s hands completely?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. in a typical I am high drive she is low drive, what happened to the sex and why is my wife never in the mood anymore type marriage. Yes, what I want more than anything for father's day, birthday, and any holiday is special lingerie and sex night. My wife is SAHM, there isn't anything I can't realistically afford and it's the one gift I crave from her.

It didn't happen last night but she also thinks it's weird that is a father's day thing.

Your wife is a normal woman being a normal woman and struggling with monogamy more than you are. Long term relationships are hard on desire, but especially hard on FEMALE desire—there are plenty of data on this. We need to revisit the stale AF and inherently sexist idea that women aren’t having sex because they don’t like sex. Data show it’s that they bore of partnered sex more quickly than men do. In the aggregate, they like sex, just not the sex they’re having. But this fact runs so contrary to our notion of who men and women are that we have a hard time taking it in.

Pp who you are responding to. I offered to open the marriage and she declined. So it sure doesn't seem we are equally motivated sexually. I am sure she is bored though, who isn't.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t have to be either or people!!! You can give it up to your DH and have the kids show their love with gifts too.

I don’t understand these women who complain about men wanting sex. Don’t you enjoy it??

Maybe their husbands aren't that good in bed?

Up to a woman to own her own body. If a woman can’t masturbate to an orgasm leave her, she will never be happy.

Amazing to me how women will own their body for abortion and yet to have an orgasm it is up to someone else to magically push the imaginary switch

You do know that somebody might do things to stop.or impede your own goals.

What? Your husband prevents you from achieving orgasm? Is that your point

Sometimes.... He has, he can.

Yet Another helpless female dependent on her strong powerful partner for her physical needs

No. I’m just saying he can ruin it just like kids walking in. You can do things that f up the O.

Yep, it’s a thing. It can happen to men, too. Sometimes the physical process continues, but without the wave of pleasure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t have to be either or people!!! You can give it up to your DH and have the kids show their love with gifts too.

I don’t understand these women who complain about men wanting sex. Don’t you enjoy it??

Maybe their husbands aren't that good in bed?

Up to a woman to own her own body. If a woman can’t masturbate to an orgasm leave her, she will never be happy.

Amazing to me how women will own their body for abortion and yet to have an orgasm it is up to someone else to magically push the imaginary switch

You do know that somebody might do things to stop.or impede your own goals.

What? Your husband prevents you from achieving orgasm? Is that your point

Sometimes.... He has, he can.

Yet Another helpless female dependent on her strong powerful partner for her physical needs

No. I’m just saying he can ruin it just like kids walking in. You can do things that f up the O.

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea that men just really want sex rather than any of the other possible ways of being celebrated.

The species have to propogate!

Anonymous wrote:Man here. in a typical I am high drive she is low drive, what happened to the sex and why is my wife never in the mood anymore type marriage. Yes, what I want more than anything for father's day, birthday, and any holiday is special lingerie and sex night. My wife is SAHM, there isn't anything I can't realistically afford and it's the one gift I crave from her.

It didn't happen last night but she also thinks it's weird that is a father's day thing.

Your wife is a normal woman being a normal woman and struggling with monogamy more than you are. Long term relationships are hard on desire, but especially hard on FEMALE desire—there are plenty of data on this. We need to revisit the stale AF and inherently sexist idea that women aren’t having sex because they don’t like sex. Data show it’s that they bore of partnered sex more quickly than men do. In the aggregate, they like sex, just not the sex they’re having. But this fact runs so contrary to our notion of who men and women are that we have a hard time taking it in.

Anonymous wrote:????
Father's Day is a Father's Day not a husband's day or birthday. So why the sex is in the talks?

Because sex should had on everyday that ends in Y, including fathers daY.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and can't understand why it's hard to understand. You think a man would rather have a watch or some ugly tie than have sex? You can't be serious.

10 sec orgasm trumps the look of pride and happiness on your child’s face when you open and use that gift?

Don’t negate my accomplishments!

????
Father's Day is a Father's Day not a husband's day or birthday. So why the sex is in the talks?

Glad I am not alone here. Sex is something I hope for on father's day and something I know not to even suggest on mother's day.

Men need sex to feel loved, why is it remotely a surprise they want to feel appreciated on father's day with sex? Good wives/marriages have this all figured out.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our anniversary is today so he wasn't going to get any action last night. Now tonight will be very different! But we usually have sex on Sunday nights - even on Mother's Day.

How romantic. Way to keep it spicy. You’d think for an anniversary you would have sex two nights in a row as a special treat. Come back in 5 years when you want to know if your DH is seeing another woman on the days you aren’t giving it up.

Please - I'm 67! Two nights in a row is a bit too much for me as you will some day find out.

Are you a guy? Cuz I'm a woman in my 60s and I couldn't disagree more.

No, I'm a woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t have to be either or people!!! You can give it up to your DH and have the kids show their love with gifts too.

I don’t understand these women who complain about men wanting sex. Don’t you enjoy it??

Maybe their husbands aren't that good in bed?

Up to a woman to own her own body. If a woman can’t masturbate to an orgasm leave her, she will never be happy.

Amazing to me how women will own their body for abortion and yet to have an orgasm it is up to someone else to magically push the imaginary switch

You do know that somebody might do things to stop.or impede your own goals.

What? Your husband prevents you from achieving orgasm? Is that your point

Sometimes.... He has, he can.

Yet Another helpless female dependent on her strong powerful partner for her physical needs

Man here. in a typical I am high drive she is low drive, what happened to the sex and why is my wife never in the mood anymore type marriage. Yes, what I want more than anything for father's day, birthday, and any holiday is special lingerie and sex night. My wife is SAHM, there isn't anything I can't realistically afford and it's the one gift I crave from her.

It didn't happen last night but she also thinks it's weird that is a father's day thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t have to be either or people!!! You can give it up to your DH and have the kids show their love with gifts too.

I don’t understand these women who complain about men wanting sex. Don’t you enjoy it??

Maybe their husbands aren't that good in bed?

Up to a woman to own her own body. If a woman can’t masturbate to an orgasm leave her, she will never be happy.

Amazing to me how women will own their body for abortion and yet to have an orgasm it is up to someone else to magically push the imaginary switch

You do know that somebody might do things to stop.or impede your own goals.

What? Your husband prevents you from achieving orgasm? Is that your point

Sometimes.... He has, he can.

Anonymous wrote:The BIG O is from PIV. You know it when you have it.

Orgasm hierarchy: We fetishize woman having an orgasm from intercourse alone but only 4% of women can orgams that way OKAY??!!!

Prioritizing/privileging male pleasure (men get off from intercourse with little problem) and undervaluing female pleasure (need external/clit stil) is at the heart of the orgasm gap.