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[quote=Anonymous]OP's mom does not read as a toxic mom. She had her limitations, sure, but OP wasn't exactly an angel either. The only way to truly forge ahead toward a better relationship is to acknowledge one's own part in a difficult relationship. I think OP is introspecting enough to get there.

I believe there are personalities that just do not mesh, even when related by blood. My brother and my mom had always been like oil and water, totally at odds with each other. They had very different outlooks on life and just could not get along. My brother was also a very challenging child, and got a lot of spanking as a result. As an adult, he loved our mom, but could get triggered easily by her nagging and controlling behavior. I'm a lot more laid back and got along better with her, but it was never easy. I now have a very challenging 5 year old and I'm constantly worried that I'd do something that damages him or push him away. I guess I get it from both perspectives. As a parent we could have the best intentions but still get it wrong. I wish for more understanding and compassion for OP.[/quote]

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