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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was told once, "at 13years, you're done". They're formed. There's not much you can do. I now think that is true. I didn't pay attention when that advice was given to me. Don't really know what I would have done differently *BUT* I do think 9 - 13 are by far the most formative years when parents still have influence.[/quote]

Full disclosure, I'm replying to this more as a daughter than as a mother (I do have two kids but they are very young). While my personality might have been formed by the time I was 13, my relationship with my parents absolutely was not. My mom and I had a perfectly normal relationship up until I was 15 years or so, but then butted heads 24/7 for the next 3 years until I left home. Our relationship never recovered and now we are pretty distant/cordial. As a mom to two daughters now I AGONIZE over how to prevent this with my own kids and I've thought a ton about where it went wrong with my mom and I really do think it all happened in those years (aged 15-18). So while my personality might have been formed by 13, I don't think my mom was "done" by any means, and our relationship for the rest of my life was formed after that point.

Just to put in a different perspective on things. [/quote]

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