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[quote=Anonymous]Many have been mentioned but I'll reiterate the ones that I look back and see were most important.

Laugh and then laugh some more, lots of read alouds even when they're older, lots of hugs, as much unconditional love as you can give, don't sweat the small things - let them pass, pick your battles-and make sure they're for the big stuff because there will be big stuff. LISTEN and OBSERVE.

Practice manners and chores early on - eg my kids have done their own laundry since they were 4yo. Teach them cooking basics and how to clean house, pay bills etc.

Phones in kitchen at night throughout if possible (buy alarm clocks for their rooms as that's their excuse), teach them how to relax and get self care, teach them to walk away from toxic or dangerous relationships without guilt.

Mental care over a focus on grades.  Putting forth best effort over grades. Some kids absolutely need sports or the arts as a huge part in their lives to function. Recognize that, let it be self driven and don't worry about a college scholarship. Do let them know there is more money in merit aid than sports or artistic pursuits for college though.  Gap years developed by student (not a $$ program) are great for kids who aren't ready for college. There are many paths to a happy, successful life.

Keep yourself up to date on teen lingo/music/social media.   Frankly, the teen years are really challenging. Mental illness among teens/pre-teens is at an all-time high. Know the signs and always speak of how brain/mental health is important and not something to be looked down on. Your kids will either have friends with issues or may have some of their own.  There's really no predicting these things. You just don't have much control over this aspect as they get older.

Never let a night go by when you don't say goodnight and I love you. You never know when you might lose that opportunity. [/quote]

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