Reply to How to explain to MIL why she doesn’t get to visit as much as my my mom does

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How to explain to MIL why she doesn’t get to visit as much as my my mom does"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL comes and visits one weekend every other month.  She’s unhappy with this as my mother spends a lot of time here.  Probably 1-3 weeks a month, and it’s because she’s actually helpful.

My mom will cook for us, help clean, watch our toddler during the weekend, stays up with our infant and does dream feeds.  She allows us to go on weekend trips and stays the night so we don’t have to pay the nanny to spend the night at our house.

DHs mom is severely obese and can’t keep up with our toddler.  When she’s here all she wants to do is sit and rock the baby while watching tv.  [b]She’s critical of me and my parent and it’s an emotional drain when she’s here.[/b]

I can’t just tell MIL that I prefer my mom being here to her because my moms actually helpful.

But she’s mentioned numerous times to me and DH that she doesn’t think it’s fair my mom gets to spend so much time with our kids and she doesn’t.

I don’t think she gets it?  I don’t know what else to tell her but the truth.  You aren’t helpful.  [/quote]

The bolded is the only thing you can really ever hope to change. DH needs to manage all the communications with her generally. You can speak up in the moment when she's critical--"Well, this is what works for us!" "Oh, our pediatrician recommends x!" Push back a little respectfully, and your visits will be more enjoyable.

You've got a toddler and a baby--no apologies necessary for having your mom come to help, but that's an issue DH needs to address.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics