Reply to If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yikes. I guess I had it good. When I was a SAHM before my kid went to any preschool (first 3.5 years), my husband worked FT and still took 100% care of DD at least 1-2 hrs/day and 5-7 hours on the weekend. We had no help, no family, but...[/quote]

Does your husband get 1-2 hours of weekday and 5-7 hours of weekend time with no work or kid duties? Because yours seems excessive. [/quote]

Interesting perspective. My husband saw it as "you [i]get[/i] one-on-one time with our kid about 50-55 hours a week, so I should at [i]least[/i] get 10 or 15." He didn't see it as pure "work."

I also don't think (especially with one kid) that it's so much MORE burdensome for a dad to be the only parent on duty vs being one of two parents on duty... unless the man really abdicates most of his responsibility and attention when mom is also present. Which is probably true for most dads in hetero relationships. Couldn't be me. By having him take over, I got some time to breathe, and he wasn't unduly burdened. But a mom not doing 100% or at least 80% of the child minding (when "both parents are on duty") is a threat to some people, I guess.

Anyway, he did get a fair bit of non-work/non-kid time. You could say, "Well, most of that was just getting ready for work in the morning and having breakfast by himself while you were sleeping (because I was up at night) or you were out with the kid for a walk" but that's the kind of alone time I mostly had too. I think people often count time a SAHM spends away from kid (but engaged in life maintenance things, like showering, exercising, chores and errands) as "me time" for her, but don't count the same type of time for WAHDs as "me time," but rather "necessary for life/work time" for him. Except for a couple of the weekend hours, I wasn't doing anything spectacularly personal or indulgent, and even then, it was writing or taking a class or something. It's not like I sat around eating bonbons 10-15 hours per week, though if I did, I wouldn't care who thought it was excessive.      [/quote]

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