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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I get how you feel.  If I had a stepdaughter who behaved in this manner, especially towards my sick, dying husband, I too wouldn't feel very forgiving.  Let me give you the other perspective.  I'm a divorced mom of three kids.  My ex-DH was a terrible father when my oldest was young.  Ex-DH was in a very stressful job and just had a lot of unresolved issues.  By the time my younger two were old enough to really be aware of what was going on, Ex-DH has resolved a lot of his issues.  He's a much nicer spouse to his current partner than he ever was to me.  My oldest is a teen now and still is resentful toward his dad because he wonders how his dad is so nice to his current partner but was just a jerk to "a helpless kid."  I've explained to DS that people evolve and his dad is trying now so focus on that.  Maybe you got a different version on your DH than his DD grew up with.  I'm working hard to help DS resolve his feelings of resentment, but he's having a hard time.  I have made it clear that he must be polite/respectful to his dad's new partner because she has nothing to do with what transpired before she came on the scene.  I can see DS realizing as he matures that he needs to resolve his feelings toward his dad.  It's possible that your stepdaughter has matured and realizes that she was out of line with how she treated you.  If you have no interest in a relationship with her, just ignore her.  If you do decide to connect with her make sure there is never any money going from you to her so you'll always know that she genuinely wants to make amends.  It's entirely your choice what you do.  My only suggestion is maybe try to let go of your resentment toward her.  Divorce and the impact on kids can be complicated.[/quote]

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