Reply to Issues to consider when inviting very ill FIL and wife to live in our home

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[quote=Anonymous]I put my mother in a nursing home. Trying to deal with the issues in the nursing home, visiting often, being frustrated with poor care, and seeing her so sad and depressed also took a terrible toll and was time consuming. I felt horribly guilty when I visited and horribly guilty when I didn't. Signs of neglect were there and yet it was really hard to get her the care she needed. She basically stopped talking and sat staring out a window empty. She hated that after a full life, her last years and death were going to be spend in a setting where she felt uncared for and mistreated.

While my home life was busy and I felt that I had rationalized why a nursing home was best, if I could do it again, I would bring her home in a heartbeat. The pain and angst we both suffered and that I continue to feel (she has since passed away) will never go away. It was traumatic in the end and really took more of my time and mental energy than if I had brought her home and hired help[/quote]

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