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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]
 
PP here. I've also heard of coaches doing this kind of thing--from our coach! "I'm not like this, but OTHER coaches would kick you out (or cut minutes) as soon as they find out you're trying out at other teams." I'm not sure what to make of the veiled threat. If my kid is good and helping you win, you really think that putting him on the bench is your answer?

It's a BS response that tells you all you need to know about a coach or club. [/quote]

This behavior definitely happens...  We saw it twice with our kids.  Older one got an offer at an DA club and we went and had a personal meeting with his coach to share the news, etc.  Although we were told how great it was that he was moving on/up, he then found himself playing very limited minutes or the remainder of that season despite being arguably the best/one of the best on his team.  Even when players on the field were barely moving in the heat and he was fresh on the bench.  A few years later, the younger one did what PP mentioned -- just went looking around and attended the actual tryout for ONE other club (much closer to us).  When offers went out to her existing team, she didn't get one.  We contacted the coaches to follow up and were told that they'd "heard" she was looking elsewhere and didn't want to make an offer to someone not committed to the club. If we were to commit before receiving the offer, they would have then given us one, apparently....  we left.... 
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If I were a coach in your first case "less minutes because leaving team" - I might want to show commitment to the players who might also be potentially leaving but not decided, especially if tryout registrations were low. If they continued to get less time for someone on the way out, I'd be kind of pissed as a player or parent.

As for the second case, that's really different. They might have wanted to make offers in a first round to players who appeared more interested. Also sounds like your player may have been on the bubble and not on the high side of it.[/quote]

I've done it both ways.  With one kid, I really liked the current coach and team but a better opportunity came along that couldn't be passed up.  Out of respect for the coach I let him know as soon as we had made the decision.  There was some reduction in minutes towards the end of the season, but I don't think it was a case of punishing my kid for leaving as much the coach wanting to invest more in the players who would be there in the future.  I can't say I was thrilled about it at the time, but I understood, and we are still on good terms with that coach, former teammates, and everyone we knew who was involved with that club.

With another kid I realized early on it was a bad situation, I had made a mistake, and we needed to leave.  But I had very little respect and absolutely no trust in either the coach or the TM, so I didn't say a damn word until after the last game.

I have no regrets about either decision.
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