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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "At a loss- spouse openly disregarded my wishes on something"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well if the item is in the house, maybe he can be on kid duty while he does it. Is it an airstream? Maybe it’s a plane. OP if your real problem is division of labor, work on that. [/quote] I think the real problem is a bit more subtle. It's more about OP's struggle with her husband as to who "controls" the marriage. They have a fundamentally dysfunctional, oppositional relationship style, rather than a cooperative one. It is a zero sum game. So, each perceives the other getting something they want, as a personal loss. No one can "win" unless the other "loses." OP, maybe you need to start solving this by reframing your whole relationship concept. ?Instead of viewing your husband's boat purchase as a loss to yourself, why don't you try to view it as a positive? He got something he really wanted, something that makes him happy. That should make you happy too. [/quote]
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