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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. Thank you for the responses. I am keeping my emotions out of this thread.

I think he does have a problem. He is stressed at work, so he buys things. He wants everything to be the best quality, but really he cannot afford it as all his money should be going to min. family expenses and to service his debt.

[…]

What else? Certainly, the above requires his cooperation. If he is not willing to do that, I see no way forward. M

[/quote]

None of the above.

First you see an attorney to draft a postnuptial agreement that his debts will not be your responsibility in case of divorce. Your full retirement account will not be shared, and the house remains in your name only. Savings accounts in your name are not marital property, etc. Agree on an amount that he will contribute to kids college funds, etc. Ask specifically how to protect yourself if he goes bankrupt.

Then you completely separate finances while married. YOU pay all the family bills from your checking account. He direct deposits whatever portion of his income is needed for family expenses - and I mean everything including vacation, birthday parties, eating out, etc. He only keeps control of the discretionary income that you both budget for yourselves - this should be a similar amount for both you btw. While this checking account is in your name only, you show him the statements any time he asks.

Your ideas of monitoring him will both drive you insane and will not work. Stay [b]with him with the expectation that he will figure out some way to get into more debt and ruin his credit, because he will[/b]. [/quote]

Thank you! That is the kind of practical advice I need.

-OP[/quote]

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