Reply to Preschool, how important and how do people do this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think preschool is very important for K readiness. But I think you should be able to find a part time program for relatively cheap. If not a full time program, look at community classes that are like "preschool prep" and they are a drop off program for 2 hours.

I disagree that "library hour" is the same thing - not at all. You want your child to be in an unfamiliar setting and getting used to interacting with other kids and listening to other adults.

I think she will lag behind her peers if you don't send her to something![/quote]

To OP's earlier point, I think, there's no real denial that her daughter will be a bit behind at first, but the question is sort of "does that matter" and "behind for how long".  Two questions I respect in this age of so many parents thinking their kid has to be at the top of everything.  Sure, her DD may struggle a bit more with the adjustment to K than most of her peers, but is that alone reason for the family to stretch beyond their financial comfort zone.  I don't think that lag is insurmountable, or even more of a couple of weeks transition -- akin to what many kids experience for the first time with preschool.  Alone, the desire to prevent that short lag shouldn't compel a family to stretch beyond their comfort zone, in my opinion.[/quote]

Thank you yes! I feel like I'm not as bad a person as people are making me out to be... this is exactly what I'm trying to get at![/quote]

Glad this resonated. And, selfishly, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only person out there who feels this way about so many things related to child-rearing and family priorities.  There's so much pressure to do things a certain way.  Hell, I'm getting pushback from people who feel my daughter should be in a "preschool program"+aftercare rather than daycare.  I'm also getting pushback from people who think my apartment is too small for our family.  Our family is happy and feels balanced and loving and supportive.  Kids are resilient and you're not screwing them up in any meaningful way by making certain decisions that might make their lives a little harder in some ways, but for reasons that keep the overall family priorities in harmony.  And financially bending to accommodate a 3rd kid is a completely different calculus than financially bending (albeit much less significantly) to send your kids to preschool in addition to a nanny...[/quote]

Yes! It feels like depriving her of the head start she needs to get into harvard or something! But I also feel like I don't really want to raise her to be worried about the next step all the time. I hear pps talking about being prepared for kindergarten. But another part of me hears, 'take a year away from her of the total free exploration of young childhood.' And I know that is an oversimplification and naive, but on the scale of getting her ready for academics and letting her roll around in the mud for as long as she can I'm more on the mud side. Academics are important for sure, but that's going to be the next 20 years of her life, non stop.

I think also some PPs would be appalled at the things I'm hesitating to cut back on to make this happen. My DH and I have a twice monthly date night for example and that probably most months basically equals this cost. But that is valuable to the family! Keeps us connected, marriage healthy and happy. Or the biweekly cleaner that costs a little more but saves a tremendous amount of mental energy.

Anyway yes there is room, it could be made to happen, but I'm not sure I want to give up those things to make it happen. It seems almost radical these days to say that kids needs, especially optional ones, shouldn't come at the forefront of the family prioritization list! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one struggling with it.

I agree I think I downplayed #3 a little bit but that is like, a decision to shape the family we want to have. It is a family goal. And DD fits into the family goal. But is a part of the family. I don't know it's all so hard to articulate in a way that doesn't downplay how much I love DD and want her to thrive and be the best she can be. [/quote]

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