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Reply to "Tell me about your absolute lowest point in life"
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[quote=Anonymous]My teenage years were very difficult, I have a very difficult mother who has some mental health issues. I think she has borderline personality disorder. After I graduated college and was finally 'free' my dad and brother died almost exactly a year apart, both in extremely unexpected and sudden ways that were not at all related to each other. The rest of my siblings were still kids, so I moved back to help at one point and generally provided emotional and physical support for the following years because I was the only one of us kind of still moving. But of course I was also grieving myself. I remember the call about my brother's accident so well, like a slow motion moment that replays every once in awhile if I let it into my mind. And the car ride to my mom's house and getting there. And the crippling pain I used to feel when alone. Still feel when I allow myself to. We were recovering alright from dad's death but the sibling just destroyed all of us. Sometime that week or month or something I began to tell myself, 'in three years, everyone is going to be ok, if we all make it to three years out we're going to be ok.' And I just kept going, one foor in front of the other and reminding myself of that. It was a trial to be endured. My mom's mental illness has made it all much harder. But now I have survived and created my own family and I understand what it means to be grateful. I understand what it means to truly know that anything could happen and to live life in a way that won't be filled with regrets. I changed my whole life to create the life I want for my family where I am able to savor parts of life every day. Happiness is a choice. Depression is a disease of course where you can't choose happiness and you should get help if that effects you, but for the rest of us it is a choice. Well, a series of choices. The choice to feel gratitude when waiting in a long line at Starbucks that you are going to get to enjoy coffee, that you have the money to buy it etc instead of being annoyed at the wait. If you make choices like that all the time, they accumulate into a grateful and happy person. If you think someone is being fake, maybe you are wrong and they are just choosing to be happy. Whenever a thread like this comes up it makes me think of resiliency. And it makes me sad. If you are able to bounce back from something like this, it can change you for the better, but so many are just destroyed by it. I think I survived through sheer force of will. My other siblings haven't all been as successful. I don't blame them, I wish I could imbue them with some of whatever it is that I have that made me more able to pull myself up off the mat and refuse to stay down. I want to know how to teach my children how to be resilient without having them endure some wrenching tragedy.[/quote]
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