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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait until they have to live their life out of suitcases and have to deal with the guilt of who to see during the holidays. They will beat themselves up over it and internalize more than you will ever comprehend.

None of it is real to them.[/quote]

Wait until they're trying to care for two aging adults in two far-apart locations, and trying to dump responsibility for their new spouses on you as well.  My parents' divorce as a teenager was nothing compared to what my 50s have been like.

Hope you have lots of money, OP.  You're going to need it, to maintain two separate households for the rest of your life.  [/quote]

Not necessarily. We don't visit either for the holidays. And we've made it clear to both of our divorced parents that they either act like civil grown ups at joint events, or don't bother coming. We don't tolerate their bullshit.

As for aging parents, it's a concern. But, they are all remarried and so they have spouses to help out too. We don't feel any obligation to them, much as we like them, they have their own kids. And we also feel no sense that this is is our responsibility to do anything extraordinary (beyond making sure they are treated well and not turned out on the streets, obv.) They've made their own separate lives with their new families. That's fine. But, that's also the choices they've made so they'll have to live with them. I feel no guilt about it. None.[/quote]

For me it's more like their spouses are the older and sicker ones, at the moment.  They are both constantly asking us to help financially and in person, because none of the FOUR aging adults saved enough money.  It might have been enough, had they not divorced.  I'm helping them as I can, but I'm not going above and beyond, and I'm actively resisting responsibility for the new spouses.  It's just more than I can take on.  People with their happy-clappy "Children are resilient!  More people to love them!" can STFU unless they're going to write some checks.[/quote]

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