Reply to Artificial insemination and very insensitive wife (and MIL)....

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[quote=Anonymous]NP. I haven't read all of the responses, just the first page.

I'm a woman married to another woman, and we used known donor sperm to conceive our two boys.

I'm guessing that since you did AI without counseling, you're doing this without a clinic? Perhaps you ordered the sperm online and had it shipped directly to you? I don't fault you for this - that's where we started before having to move on to IUI and eventually IVF (a lot of IVF).

DW and I had extensive conversations about donor sperm for YEARS before deciding to use a known donor, a friend in fact. This was something that we both had to be okay with, and again, we discussed it at length before even approaching our friend.

Once we moved on from AI, we did have to go through counseling at Shady Grove and eventually at another clinic after we switched, primarily because we knew the guy.

All of this is to say that:

1. It sounds like you should have a more extensive conversation about what this means for both of you and your family
2. It sounds like you are maybe not okay with donor sperm? This is really important and could adversely affect the relationship you have with your child.

Not being biologically related to a child can mean different things for different people. For me, I carried my sons in my heart instead of my body, and they are very much mine. But I also made sure that we did a second parent adoption after they were born so that they are also mine in the eyes of the law.[/quote]

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