Reply to First X-Mas as blended family off to terrible start

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds like your DH is an idiot.  And you should expect things to be difficult when you marry and have children outside your age range.  This happens all the time.  Older men want the new wife and they agree to more kids, but it is more than they can handle emotionally, logistically, and financially. There is just not enough Dad/Grandpa to go around, and you set things up to be weird by being so close in age to his children.  Your child means that the grandchildren will not get the attention from their grandfather that they otherwise would.  And their grandmother is dead so it is all the more painful to see them miss out on what could have been.  Yes the divorce is in the past, but they are missing out on their grandfather's time and attention in the present.  Even more so with the new baby.  The loss and grief and complexity of that is happening now.

If you wanted easy holidays you should not have married into a complicated family and made it even more complicated.  Remember, you and youe DH chose this and nobody else had a choice.  Then you CHOSE to make it even more complicated with another baby.  Sorry but that is the reality.[/quote]

NP. Very thoughtful post, pp. I think you nailed it. [/quote]

The stepdaughter, an adult woman with a family of her own, chose to accept this invitation. She’s entitled to feel all the grief and loss she wants, but she needs to be civil to her father’s wife in their home. If she can’t, she should have declined. She doesn’t need to accept her father’s choices but ultimately she doesn’t get a say. Life isn’t fair. [/quote]

If she declined to attend, the Mandatory Blended Family Happiness Brigade would criticize her for it.  Nothing will satisfy them except if the stepchildren eat their shit with a smile.[/quote]

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