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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks everyone. I just feel that I am watching every $ I spend... literally. I know that DH is not like me (probably not many people are), but I feel that $80 today after being out doing similar things (hopefully spending less) at least 5 times in the past 2 weeks is just a slap in my face. He could have had 1 beer with his friends, he could have come home to spend time with me (we would have been alone since my parents took the kids he whole day); he could have drank less... anyway... I think it was very disrespectful to our family and embarassing for everyone and my parents (that don’t drink/ are foreigners)... [/quote]
Ok, here is what I think. You are embarrassed that on his day off(or not going to work) he didn't spend time with you and your parents and your kids. All valid reasons. You are also pregnant and in debt. I am assuming he is charging all this on CC that you don't have the money to pay off?If you do have the money to pay it off, why all the drama? Or with you parents' help now, you are able to pay for his little lunch and drinks out of pocket? So, you parents are helping, and you told them about your financial crisis, and then he goes on and spends? Embarrassing right? And not home either, embarrassing too? Now, you were wrong to raise the issue with your parents present, you should have done it in quiet. I am an immigrant and was often in the similar situation when my parents would come to visit. After one fight that my mother witnessed when my first child was young, I learned never, ever to let my parents know any of our troubles. You see, this is also a big issue, you will forgive him and maybe forget, but your parents will resent him. You know all those horror stories you read about the ILS? Because they hear someone is "abusing" their grown kid from their kid, and they are still parents, they start to dislike your husband. Add cultural differences, it is a mess. Now, I bet you while this was going on, they were kind of on his side, "it is no big deal, man had a drink.." Right?  My post has nothing to do with your financial situation, you guys cooked it up, you will fix it. Of course your DH is in a difficult position too, ILS home for a long time, you pregnant, and two kids around. So, what you ought to do, is ask your parents to watch the kids, they seem willing to help, which is great, and go out with your DH. Apologize for making such a hysterical show, which sounds like you did, even if you were right, and is he actually a nice person? He will apologize too, you don't need the extra tension while you are pregnant and your parents are visiting. You are thinking "I don't need this sh*t," and he is likely thinking the same thing. Now, if he is an alcoholic or a nasty husband anyway, then well, what do I know anyway.[/quote]

A very reasonable and rational response. +1

Also glad I dont' have a DW that would send me to sleep on the couch over going out to have a few drinks with friends. Now if I showed up with lipstick on my collar....[/quote]

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