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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I have dated men who make less than me. I recently ended a 2 year relationship with someone who made under 100k and was divorced with 2 kids. The financial instability since he was paying child support became too much for me. I grew up in a very financially stable family and I’ll leave it at that. I value stability. I think some of you are right and I can rethink my “threshold”, but maybe you can see where I am coming from a bit better. I can compromise on income but not to the point where I had (meaning no more partners with children if they don’t have a sufficient enough income to have financial stability).

Judging from some of the rest of the comments, it seems like if you’re single, it’s a prerequisite to be thin before you can have a child or adopt. Seen plenty of overweight married women with children, but that’s good to know. [/quote]

OP, finally, things are starting to make sense. If you just ended a relationship, of course you’re thinking in absolutes - that you will never date someone who makes less money  than you ever again. It also makes sense that you’re thinking about what you want out of life and how to get it. I don’t want to minimize your feelings, but adoption seems like the equivalent of a rebound as coping mechanism. Give yourself time to heal and get perspective.

There’s a ted talk by Amy Webb about hacking online dating that reminds me of you. She’s a great statistician (who’s also overweight) and wanted a family. She talks about disasters in dating and deciding to use her knowledge of algorithms to find her match. Coincidentally her  story begins right after a breakup of a long relationship when she was feeling really hopeless. It ends with her daughter. She’s hilarious too, so it’s a fun listen.

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating/up-next

financial stability in a partner is a good goal. It’s also good to know that you don’t want to be a stepmom. That said, it’s very very likely that you will meet someone who will be a good match for you and you can build a family together. It’s much easier to raise children (adopted or not) with a partner. [/quote]

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