Reply to Argument about my fiance's 12 year old daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The big issue here is that OP is freaking out about this. Hence that she is perceiving this as a threat to her position in fiancee's priorities. She can claim whatever she wants, this reaction signals jealousy. Like plain competition with his DD. Rather than approach it sensibly and really see it as what it is, some insecurity on parts of her fiance, his ex and future step daughter. That part is not ok at all. Child is not at fault for anything here. Yes, parents are not creating a good night time situation for their kid, there is no doubt of that. You need to realize that your fiance will most likely always choose his DD over you, his reaction to your freak out has been, well, to pacify you like he would his child. The fact that he does let her sleep with him(which should happen rarely, only if she is scared or sick) doesn't mean there is anything inappropriate at all in it. Your gut reaction is that there was, making you think it is somehow, somewhere in you mind, sexual. Give it a couple of days and you fiance will realize this too, and hopefully ditch you asap. You should break it up with him anyway, if you are not able to understand that he has a child, that this child needs attention, that some things will not be to your cup of tea, and that you are acting worse than his messed up ex and more insecure than his preteen DD, this is not a marriage for you and for him. Here is a simple way how married parents react to child climbing in their bed... "Honey ,come here, mom and dad are here for you." I acknowledge that both your fiance and his ex are creating insane codependency in their child. That is not healthy. However, your reaction in plain and simple jealousy, there is not doubt of that. You can try to sugarcoat it but it is what it is. You are jealous, probably sexually too. That is a messed up gut reaction to the situation.[/quote]

You are disturbed and lacking appropriate boundaries.[/quote]

No, I am not. I am perfectly normal person who sees nothing wrong with occasional night that 11,12 year old sleeps in the same bed as the parents. All the time is not ok at all. OP is plain and simply not a parent, and you might think whatever you want of me, I am not wrong about OP. There is no way she is telling me she freaked out because she is worried about her future step daughter. If that is why she freaked out she would be calling CPS and ditching her fiance.[/quote]

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