Reply to SIL told me I’m breaking her family up

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm sorry. It sounds like your the target of your husband's family. My advice is to get things straight with your husband via a counselor. He's not on your side. Do this before you have kids. Take care.[/quote]

Me again. I forgot to add: you don't go to the holidays at his family's because they don't respect you. You either go see your family, do something with friends, or have a private holiday with just the two of you. If your husband won't take your side in this, then you still don't go to his family's and get solo counseling. I'd say just leave him if you don't have kids, but you have to be ready to do that.[/quote]

OP.

Husband has told his mom and sister to knock it off. They don't really listen to him either. Our counselor said that he cannot change their behavior and the best strategy is to avoid them/limit contact.

Husband says he is happy to stand up for me but he cannot miss holidays with them as they are his family and he could never do that. 
[/quote]

OP, YOU are his family now and he's not standing up for you.  He does't get that, yet.  Mine didn't either.  This will become a huge problem if you don't get this sorted out before you have kids.  Get this resolved now.  
-PP who wrote the letters.  [/quote]

How is he not on my side? He tells them to jump in the lake and doesn’t communicate with them for a while after they act out. They are still his family so he doesn’t want to cause them pain. [/quote]

He doesn’t want to cause them pain by cutting off contact due to their behavior.  He is fine subjecting you to pain by making you soend the holidays with people who are openly hostile to you.  See where the priorities lie?[/quote]

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