Reply to Marriage counselor told us we need to make time for us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you have prioritized your kids over your marriage.  No wonder you are in counseling.  The emotional affair is wrong but probably the result of you not prioritizing your marriage.  You keep responding that he has plenty of sex but sex is not the only thing in a marriage.  My marriage bed is where my husband and i have some of our most intimate conversations.  I can't imagine allowing the kids interfere with that.
With regards to the activities.  The kids will get over it.  I can assure you they would rather halve an intact family than activities.  They won't stay in all those activities ifnyoubare divorced.

Make a s
[/quote]

+100

My parents divorced when I was in college, my one sister in middle school and youngest in elementary and there is no activity we were involved in that was worth our parents marriage.  And whatever activities we did back then, none of them continued beyond high school.  At all those life events, college graduation, wedding, 1st birthday for my daughter, holidays it would have been much easier if my parents were still together.  I still feel a little pang.  The crazy thing is I wish they had faught for their marriage because deep down I think they did love each other.  But they stayed together to stay together for awhile rather than work on their marriage, listen to each other, and compromise when things started to take a turrn. Then at a certain point, there was probably too much resentment to even try.

And OP, I get some of feeling like you get a do-over in the sense of doing things differently than your parents now that you have control in the situation.  But realize it’s not an all or nothing and you have to account for your spouse’s perspective.   While it was hard to say no to my kids in regards to activities, it’s actually a life skill to be able to prioritize and not take on everything until you are overwhelmed.  Don’t think of it as doing your kids a disservice, think of teaching them about tradeoffs, making a decision, etc.  Key is you want them to be involved in something but don’t want them to be doing everything.[/quote]

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