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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not fair, OP, that one teen has to earn his spending money, while the other is engages in an activity and still gets the same spending privileges- an extracurricular is not a job.

If the activity is that valuable, you shouldn't have have other teen work- let them do an activity too then both have to live under more stringent spending rules. *Or* the teen who has the activity doesn't get the same spending privileges, because he didn't earn the money- it was given to him.

It comes across as favoritism and entitlement. I have an exceptionally talented tween too, and we live in an area where he can bag groceries for minimum wage starting at fourteen (with stringent work restrictions). He's excited to earn his own money in the summers and for a few hours on school year weekends.

As for your question about responsibility- my tween has ADHD and we do deal with him losing things or even accidentally breaking things. $20 is lost money- and he has a bank account with Christmas and grandma money. We withdraw a portion from it for egregious, irresponsible behavior- for instance, he gets a pass, or we evaluate how easily the situation could have been avoided, then make a decision. He's had to pay for coats and water bottles he loses at school, a broken laptop screen, etc. [/quote]

pp again- [b]if the other teen really likes to work (and I think a job is an equally valuable experience), you should give him the same money you give your other teen[/b] (the one with the activity that could lead to a career)-- and let the working teen save his money in a bank account. You're treating them differently, even if the working teen seems okay with that. Lower the amount you give to both- eating out regularly, losing money, losing metro cards, shouldn't be an option. Set the boundary- "you lose your metro card, that is your entire allowance for the next week" kind of thing.

I agree with this.  I would give the same budget to the one who is working and the one who isn't.  The one who is working will end up with a nice nest egg in college or whatever.  He may not feel like he needs it now, but will appreciate having it later.  
This will cause problems between these brothers- I know a family with two sports stars and a brother who had to pick up all of their slack. After the mom died, the brothers haven't spoken in a decade- relationship was ruined before it started. Don't do this to your kids. [/quote][/quote]

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