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[quote=Anonymous]I will say that my brother and I were raised in a similar fashion. My parents were married, but my dad frequently worked out of town or was based in a different city for the bulk of my brother's high school years.

I was the athlete and he was the studious, non athletic one. He worked, saved his money, etc. My parents would say that they were equitable and gave my brother things, but I can honestly say in retrospect I honestly don't think that could have been true, even though it wasn't apparent to me then.

Fast forward 20+ years. My brother and I have little to no relationship. He took on a very "I will do it myself with NO help" kind of attitude once he finished high school. Bought his own books, had jobs and used his own spending money during college. I can see now that he had a lot of built up resentment towards my parents and I. Now, I worked too, babysitting when I was younger and held jobs during the school year and in the summer when I could drive. But where I was willing to take and accept my parents help, he chose not to. Maybe he was just being prideful, I don't know.

So my answer to you is, I think you're trying to be equitable, but the boys know deep down that you are not. Whether that activity manifests into a career as you say in the long run, we'll never know. But the trench you're digging between your kids is real.

If he's not eating the lunch, don't pack it. Honestly. If it's that much on your mind about the money you're spending on wasted food, don't supply it. If he doesn't care that the food he's putting into his body, it's not going to serve him well in the long run. Don't guess anymore about the food he likes. Buy what you and your other son want to/will eat. He'll probably eat, too, because when he's hungry and he's out of the money you gave him, he won't have a choice.

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