Reply to What did your significant other plan for your 40th birthday?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 50. I didn't treat my 40th or 50th birthday any different than the other birthdays. I know other people do but it's just not that big a deal to me and I don't buy into shit that other people do. If you feel you've lost yourself or want to reconnect with something, then do it but don't make it a litmus test for your DH.[/quote]

I'm 52 now. My birthday is right before Christmas, and 12 years ago, my kids were that Santa-believing age where Christmas is a big deal and I was very busy.  I told DH we'd celebrate it in February so we could do it right.  February came and went and then the next 12 years came and went, no party.

But I actually don't care; if I wanted a party, I would have had one.  Speaking in generalities, OP, MEN don't have the type of brain to remember anniversaries or dates; it's a woman-thing, and the trap is to expect your man to remember and do a woman-thing.  (again...speaking in generalities).

I will tell you that when I turned 50, I wanted to go to my hometown.  It's a resort town but I wanted to go for once as a tourist, not as a local.  So we stayed in a nice hotel and swam and slept etc.  It was wonderful.  I planned it myself.   I think my DH is awesome and we've now been married 20 years.  This PP above has it right.  Don't turn some action or non-action into something symbolic....most men are not as symbolic as women.  Meaning:  DH didn't plan DW a party IS NOT SYMBOLIC of DH's lack of love for DW.  Conversely, planning a party IS NOT SYMBOLIC of DH's love for DW--it might be a DH plans a party just because he doesn't want to incur a DW's wrath if he doesn't.[/quote]

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