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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have two young kids and both work full-time and are having a rough time of it - of course.  We're exhausted and busy pretty much all the time, but the kids are young, we have a great house, great jobs, two great kids, etc.  At the end of the day, even when we've worked all day, and then spent two hours or so trying to get both kids into bed, and everyone's exhausted, I still know that I am happy we made the decision to have kids.  My DH on the other hand, says to me frequently that if he knew what he knows now, he would not have had the kids.  This is heart breaking to me and is really hurting our relationship.  He's fine with the kids - he plays with them and isn't mean or anything, but he's not a great dad and he definitely doesn't enjoying parenting.  If I ask him to watch them so I can go out, he complains; if he's giving them a bath, he's on his iPhone while they're bathing instead of playing with them, etc.

I'm really not sure where to go from here.  It's killing our relationship - I hardly feel like being intimate with him or even really spending any time with him because it's such a personal hurt to hear pretty much daily how he doesn't like his life with us and wishes he had made different choices.  Thoughts?  Anyone BTDT?  Is this a marriage ending issue?  I want him to realize how lucky he is and how awesome they are.[/quote]

I think you need to get a sitter and go out to dinner and talk to him. He sounds unhappy and I think you need to say that his comments and behavior are killing your feelings toward him. I'd go to therapy yourself and go with him if he is willing. Not sure if he is depresed, immature, or what, but it sounds like it is really impacting you and the kids need for at least one of you to be functioning and engaged. Does he have a history of close intimate relationships with anyone? Does depression, alcoholism, divorce run in his family? Sometimes you can be busy and get by as a couple, but you are at a juncture - resolve some of your ind baggage and learn how to build a loving family or split. Some people do go on as you are describing but it's not really fair to you or the kids. I'd take some steps now to get help at least for you. There are therapists who do lunch appointments. I'd also highly recommend getting involved with PEP, it will surround you with like minded parents who all want to build happier more fulfilling relationships and families.
http://www.parentencouragement.org/[/quote]

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