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Money and Finances
Reply to "When friends’ views on money/life diverge . . . . "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Friendships change over time. Money is just one reason why, though often a big reason. If it's valuable to you, then even though it isn't really fair -- you will avoid the issues she's insecure about -- things; cars; vacations; etc. Like the PPs above, if you want to continue to be friends focus on ideas, events, etc. not who is going where/how cool it would be to live here or drive there because clearly that's hurting her feelings even though you aren't bragging about your OWN trips or commenting on where she should live.[/quote] This, though I would leave out the stuff about it not being fair to OP. I grew up enough wealthier than most of my friends (who were also UMC, but my parents both had high-paying jobs), and my parents were also wealthier than my aunts and uncles. I guess because of that, I grew up my whole life knowing how/when to talk about money-related things. And, yes, talking about how cool an expensive car or condo building is when you can afford it and the person you're with can't *is* talking about money. And even if it weren't, you obviously don't have the same taste in places to live...so why would you expect a discussion about whether a building is cool or not to go well with her. I don't like sports cars, even the ones I can afford. So my brother, who does like them, doesn't waste a lot of his time talking about them with me...it wouldn't be an interesting discussion. If you value the friendship, talk about the things you have in common. I was a grad student for almost a decade while some of my college friends were making loads of money as investment bankers. Guess what? They planned activities with me that I could afford, even though I knew they otherwise spent a lot more on dinner etc. And they talked to me about things that we continued to have in common. It's really not that hard.[/quote]
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