Reply to How much free time is reasonable per day in this situation?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think he's resentful and he wants more fun in his life and feels you get it, even if you don't. Try changing your schedule to meet him halfway, worse case, it doesn't work. [/quote]

OP here.  I think you're exactly right about this.  Why does he think I get all this fun?  Because I stay up late every night?  I don't ever go out with my friends in the evenings (i.e. ladies night out), all the late nights/ travel nights/weekends he is working I am on Mommy Duty 24-7 with zero help.  I do all the grunt work of parenting--making meals, packing lunch, doing all laundry, driving all over the place for DC's activities, appointments, etc.  And I do all the grunt work of housework to keep the house running in an orderly fashion--grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc.  Yes, I do stay up really late to get in my own personal time (from about 9 - 1 am) but that is my choice and I sacrifice on sleep to get that time for myself.  DH is not willing to sacrifice sleep, working out, or his sport hobby.[/quote]

You need to outsource more when DH is at work so you get alone time during the day and don't need it at night.  You will find more reliable workers if you pay them and have a set schedule. You need to let go of wanting to do it all by yourself. Make the "date" coffee hour a habit 2x a week when DC is in preschool/school.  Then shift your schedule to be closer to DH's- you will have to do this for school soon anyway. I agree with an 8pm bedtime. And you can go to bed earlier to be able to be up earlier.   That way DH get some time after 8:00pm.

4 is old enough for your child to help DH with his weekend chores. Any child can learn how to weed the garden.  [/quote]

I don't understand what problem you're trying to solve. The OP's free time occurs after her child goes to sleep and after her husband goes to sleep. He resents that she stays up late and gets to spend her free time doing what she wants then. Is your solution that she should _not_ have this free time and should go to bed at 9pm when her husband does so that he will not be resentful? She is not offloading childcare or chores onto him: he goes to bed at 9pm so that he can be at work by 6am. Why should she move her schedule to align with his schedule?[/quote]

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