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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, I'm not sure why these frantic women are suggesting therapy if your son wants to move back home. Many of them are probably still raising young children and therefore at the first sign of anything they want to call a doctor or therapist. You should post this title in the 60+ older section of DCUM. I'm not saying therapy is bad but it certainly is not a once size fits all prescription for him moving back home to save money or figure out his next move. DH and I allowed our son to move in while he is working on his doctorate. This allows DS to save money and we get to spend time together. Are there rules or norms that we all try to abide by? Of course we do and it has worked out just fine. DS met someone and they got married. So now I have DS and dear DIL as well. We are now multi-generation living together. This is no uncommon and the idea that children lived separately after college is a fairly recent phenomenon in America. Many European cultures and other cultures allow their children to love at home until they are ready to move out. DS and DIL are saving towards a down payment and paying off student loans. My DH and I have no student loans, a cushy retirement (we've been retired for 15years) and own our home. We travel a few times during the year. We allowed DS and DIL to stay at home with us because they get to save money and it's an advantage we are providing rather than a hinderance. Times are vastly different that when DH and I started out. It's much harder to move up, pay off enormous student debt, purchase a home, save for retirement and start a family. DH and I paid for our children's undergraduate degree but expect that our children pay for their graduate. While DS is paying for his doctorate, we will provide a leg up where necessary. I live in a 6 bdr/4.5 bath house on 6 acres in MoCo (been here in the 70s), why would I encourage my children to go out and pay a stranger? Instead we try to keep money within the family. DS does help out around the house and it's money into his retirement, student loans, etc. Of course, we get statements every six months to make sure they (DS and DIL) are doing those things for accountability reasons.

Sorry for the long post but the point is have a frank conversation with DS, and from there determine if you can make a multigenerational family home work. [/quote] 
You clearly didn't read the OP or somehow missed the pattern of personality issues and spotty employment that her son has. Nothing is frantic about suggesting she encourage a man who clearly needs some sort of help to get it.[/quote]

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