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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A couple of PPs have said not to bother getting any agreement in writing, [b]because you can't enforce it.[/b] On the one hand, that's true; on the other, the reason to have it written down isn't enforceability, but so that you can make sure you have the same understanding and refer back to it later. People's memories change.

It doesn't have to be in a formal way. "As we talked about today ..." in an email is enough.[/quote]

This is a great idea and I'll be doing just that. That gives us a reference point to go back to if there are problems. We don't have a separate entrance but we don't plan to enforce curfews, just request a text if he's going to be gone for more than a night. The internet thing has been a problem in the past so I'm looking for some kind of an app that will limit the whole house on access to a few hours a day. Any suggestions?
[/quote]

Look at all the emails and letters the couple sent who had to evict their 30 y.o. son. [/quote]

Yes, and that's a terrible and scary situation. And OP can't enforce it,a s I noted above.

This isn't a leverage tool. It's a touchstone for OP to be able to reassure herself that this was what they agreed on, so she can feel less guilt if she has to follow through on his not living up to the commitment. It's also because some people's memories may vary, but sometimes when they look back at contemporaneous documentation and see that they did in fact agree to X, Y, and Z. For some, that's enough to modify behavior. If not, it's at least a clarity for others involved. Believe me, you often wish you had written it down, if you don't.

But no, not enforceable on it's own.  That's not the point of it.[/quote]

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