Reply to Is it ever ok to ask a host if you can bring uninvited people with you?

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Reply to "Is it ever ok to ask a host if you can bring uninvited people with you?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I know the etiquette rules say it's wrong, but this is one that has honestly never bothered me.  If I'm planning a big casual cookout, then I'm usually planning for a few dozen people coming and going over the course of an afternoon.  An extra person - or two, or five - is not going to affect my planning whatsoever.  At a more intimate dinner party, I might say "sorry, we only have space for 8 and we're already maxed out", but I certainly don't mind you asking.  If I can make it work, I would like the opportunity to do so.

For example, if I had a guest like PP and discovered mid-party that she'd left her mom at home, or had declined my invitation because she had a summer-long guest, that would make me sad!  I wish you would ask!  I like meeting new people and love welcoming them into my home.

Most importantly, I am hosting a party for my guests more than for myself.  I want my guests to be happy and comfortable, so if that means bringing an extra friend or family along, bring it on.  It's people that make a party good, not having the exact right number of caprese skewers for a precise 2 per person.

If I'm the one asking: well, I usually know which of my friends have my outlook.  I would have no hesitation asking them.  I have some other friends that struggle with anxiety, get stressed out easily, or are very rigid in their plans.  I would not ask them.  If I don't know a host well enough to know which kind of person they are, I guess I'd err on the side of caution and not ask.[/quote]

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