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[quote=Anonymous]I have two kids and they are very different.  The younger one I would give free reign of the kitchen.  She will have dessert but she will also eat fruit or reach for a glass of milk.  She is active enough as well.  The older boy is slightly overweight and cannot regulate.  If we bake cookies and have them in the house, he will eat sneak them from the cookie jar and easily eat 12 in a day.  If we keep sweets out of the house, he gets sweets from school or a friends house.  If we go out for ice cream, he wants three scoops in a waffle cone.  He doesn't seem to understand moderation so while we give him access to food, we can't let him have as much of it as he wants.  He is 12, not 18, so I can't imagine the answer is "let them eat whatever the hell they want".  It is easy to have conversations about what to eat, but how do you have conversations about what not to eat without causing esteem issues?

I have tried to help by making him a healthy breakfast (although I know he is sometimes eating double breakfast when they have cinnamon buns at school).  And I try to offer him fruits and vegetables (even cutting them) but he either needs to be forced or he will say he is not hungry and then wait to eat bread or starch.  He is also not active so if he wasn't in soccer with his friends in a rec league, he wouldn't move.

He seems to be in a loop where he makes a self deprecating comment about his weight and then does the very thing that will cause it.  I don't know how to break that loop for him.

If my DS was my only child, I could easily admonish OP for creating a dynamic, but I know better because I treat my kids the same and they act very differently.   How do you create healthy habits when they do not self regulate at all?  [/quote]

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