Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 11 year old son who gets himself cookies throughout the day. Fortunately, he does regulate his intake pretty well and he probably eats 3-4 cookies a day. If he was eating too much I'd probably get the cookies out of the house.

I will admit that it's different for a girl. The eat differently and gain weight differently. All that combined with social body image propaganda and you start wondering if she's eating too many sweets. If there's a problem with her weight or nutrition, then only stock healthier foods. If she's just catching a small sweet snack from time to time, then let it go.

3-4 cookies a day is about 1,000 calories, FYI.

3 to 4 Oreo cookies is no more then 240 calories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8 year old boy who is sugar obsessed, and would happily eat packaged granola bars from the minute he gets home from school until dinner time and then not want any dinner. So I’m one that also makes rules about snacking and my kids don’t have free reign over the kitchen. On weekends they claim to be hungry an hour after a big breakfast...at school no snacks, so I know their body isn’t trained to eat at hay time. My kids get plenty of food at meals, I have never ever said no to seconds, thirds, etc. they also get snacks after school and on the weekends, I’m not a die hard no snack dictator, but free reign would mean no real food gets eaten, just snacks.

Not sure how to Help the op, but surprised that everyone else has such an open kitchen

Boys are a whole different story.

Not really. I have a boy and a girl. DD does a better job self regulating regardless of growth spurths. DS has a much larger appetite but will go and “sneak” sweets or candy and try to hide the wrappers in the bathrooms. I don’t limit or regulate anyone other than watching what I bring into the house. We don’t buy candy or cookies frequently. He’s generally healthy but has a mega sweet tooth and wants to binge if they are in the house. I’d rather have us all go out for ice cream or bring in single servings for occasional desserts. Sweets aren’t banned but I can’t keep them in the cabinets on a daily basis.

OP, I'm sorry so many posters have been mean-spirited. My family and I struggle with this but here a few things that have helped a bit.

It's an environmentalist's nightmare, but I buy everything individually wrapped or divvy up into ziplocs. Sweet granola bars, cookies, etc are in a basket in the pantry that says "Limit yourselves to one a day". Chips, goldfish, etc are in another basket in the pantry that they can help themselves to. I also stock the pantry with cup of soup and other heartier items in case they are really hungry. Helps force portion control at least.

Also the rule in our house is no food in their bedrooms - that's just gross! Good luck!

We went through this. What helped was when we went to her yearly checkup and the doctor talked to her about healthy eating. She had gained some weight and it helped to have a medical professional talk to her about it. I know what you're going through. It's frustrating. My daughter stopped and yours probably will too.

Anonymous wrote:To pps with 11, 12 year olds who don't regulate sweets well at all, how did this all start? I am serious. We lived overseas for a long while and I cooked, almost all the time. We also ate out, and there was an occasional sweet, candy, desert I would make. I grew up the same way, grandma cooked and there was a desert once or twice a month. If we wanted candy or chips we would have to ask parents for money and walk to get it. Occasionally dad would come home and bring us a nice candy bar. Strudels, crepes, tortes, home made donuts were our deserts. None of 6 grand kids( my cousins) has a sweet tooth. But, I am curious as my teen DD has a sweet tooth as well. I don't restrict, but I DH, DS and I don't have it at all. Both kids are raised withe same food, not many sweets at all. So, I know sweet tooth is maybe something that can't be controlled that well? She even told me she thought about how much sweets should she eat per day, and if she could live off of sweets only?! And then that it wasn't healthy, she researched it! She does have ADHD and that could be contributing. Is there science behind this? Explanation why some people crave it so much more than others?

NP. Yeast overgrowth makes the body crave sugar. Sugar feeds the yeast and the cycle continues.

Anonymous wrote:My 12 yo DD doesn't regulate sweets well at all. She would literally eat herself sick.

NP. I am with you. 11 yo DD is the same. She used to tell me she was so excited to get to third grade where the third graders would get thirds for lunch if there was leftovers. She is good obsessed and eats huge quantities of whatever. I wish I knew what I could do to help her. We’ve talked about being healthy and have tried to implement family walks and active outings. She just complains. She is self conscious of her size. It is complicated by divorce ed parents and having two households with two sets of rules. Makes me so sad. We’ve tried getting her other parent on board with therapy but her other parent IS a therapist so it’s not been well received.

I have two kids and they are very different. The younger one I would give free reign of the kitchen. She will have dessert but she will also eat fruit or reach for a glass of milk. She is active enough as well. The older boy is slightly overweight and cannot regulate. If we bake cookies and have them in the house, he will eat sneak them from the cookie jar and easily eat 12 in a day. If we keep sweets out of the house, he gets sweets from school or a friends house. If we go out for ice cream, he wants three scoops in a waffle cone. He doesn't seem to understand moderation so while we give him access to food, we can't let him have as much of it as he wants. He is 12, not 18, so I can't imagine the answer is "let them eat whatever the hell they want". It is easy to have conversations about what to eat, but how do you have conversations about what not to eat without causing esteem issues?

I have tried to help by making him a healthy breakfast (although I know he is sometimes eating double breakfast when they have cinnamon buns at school). And I try to offer him fruits and vegetables (even cutting them) but he either needs to be forced or he will say he is not hungry and then wait to eat bread or starch. He is also not active so if he wasn't in soccer with his friends in a rec league, he wouldn't move.

He seems to be in a loop where he makes a self deprecating comment about his weight and then does the very thing that will cause it. I don't know how to break that loop for him.

If my DS was my only child, I could easily admonish OP for creating a dynamic, but I know better because I treat my kids the same and they act very differently. How do you create healthy habits when they do not self regulate at all?

My 12 y.o.dd sneaks too. I am OK with that. She knows that she should not have a dessert every day. She knows that even if I served some dessert after dinner, she should not be asking for second. We normally don't keep candies or sweets at home (other than fruits or dry fruits). But sometimes we end up with a boxes of chocolate after certain holiday. I know they are disappearing faster than they should. We just laugh about her candy sneaking and denials. I hope she will outgrow it.

To pps with 11, 12 year olds who don't regulate sweets well at all, how did this all start? I am serious. We lived overseas for a long while and I cooked, almost all the time. We also ate out, and there was an occasional sweet, candy, desert I would make. I grew up the same way, grandma cooked and there was a desert once or twice a month. If we wanted candy or chips we would have to ask parents for money and walk to get it. Occasionally dad would come home and bring us a nice candy bar. Strudels, crepes, tortes, home made donuts were our deserts. None of 6 grand kids( my cousins) has a sweet tooth. But, I am curious as my teen DD has a sweet tooth as well. I don't restrict, but I DH, DS and I don't have it at all. Both kids are raised withe same food, not many sweets at all. So, I know sweet tooth is maybe something that can't be controlled that well? She even told me she thought about how much sweets should she eat per day, and if she could live off of sweets only?! And then that it wasn't healthy, she researched it! She does have ADHD and that could be contributing. Is there science behind this? Explanation why some people crave it so much more than others?

Anonymous wrote:My 12 yo DD doesn't regulate sweets well at all. She would literally eat herself sick.

So what’s your plan for when she is out of your sight?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 yo DD doesn't regulate sweets well at all. She would literally eat herself sick.

NP how do you know this for certain? Don't you think she would then learn from her mistake and not do it again? This happened to my mom when she and her best friend overate chocolate eggs and got so sick. But, she never did that again.

I had a friend who only let her kids eat candy as a special treat and then when her DD got it she would eat it very quickly because she didn't know whether or not the next time she was going to get something. That and she did not want the candy taken away!

I agree with this. I think it is important for children to learn how to self-regulate. Some times they will get it right and some times they will get it wrong but good parenting is allowing children to succeed as well as to fail (in small doses).

I am concerned that the cookies are being so closely monitored by OP. I infer from this that OP has some food regulation issues herself. Pushing her controls onto her daughter are likely to backfire in a big way. Especially since 11 is prime time for a young girl to begin developing her own food control issues, I think OP needs to reconsider her approach. A therapist could help her sort it all out.

Anonymous wrote:My 12 yo DD doesn't regulate sweets well at all. She would literally eat herself sick.

NP how do you know this for certain? Don't you think she would then learn from her mistake and not do it again? This happened to my mom when she and her best friend overate chocolate eggs and got so sick. But, she never did that again.

I had a friend who only let her kids eat candy as a special treat and then when her DD got it she would eat it very quickly because she didn't know whether or not the next time she was going to get something. That and she did not want the candy taken away!

My 12 yo DD doesn't regulate sweets well at all. She would literally eat herself sick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 11 year old son who gets himself cookies throughout the day. Fortunately, he does regulate his intake pretty well and he probably eats 3-4 cookies a day. If he was eating too much I'd probably get the cookies out of the house.

I will admit that it's different for a girl. The eat differently and gain weight differently. All that combined with social body image propaganda and you start wondering if she's eating too many sweets. If there's a problem with her weight or nutrition, then only stock healthier foods. If she's just catching a small sweet snack from time to time, then let it go.

3-4 cookies a day is about 1,000 calories, FYI.

Only if the cookies are the size of your head.

^^^I didn't mean that as an insult about your head or anyone else's head. But if 3 cookies add up to 1,000 calories, they're very large cookies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 11 year old son who gets himself cookies throughout the day. Fortunately, he does regulate his intake pretty well and he probably eats 3-4 cookies a day. If he was eating too much I'd probably get the cookies out of the house.

I will admit that it's different for a girl. The eat differently and gain weight differently. All that combined with social body image propaganda and you start wondering if she's eating too many sweets. If there's a problem with her weight or nutrition, then only stock healthier foods. If she's just catching a small sweet snack from time to time, then let it go.

3-4 cookies a day is about 1,000 calories, FYI.

Only if the cookies are the size of your head.