Reply to Just curious about something as we enter our 40's...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am one of the single high-libido older women. The one constant thread that I have heard from similar friends, is that they do not compromise on the quality of sex in a relationship. It's a deal breaker. We know this is important in our relationships AND DO NOT BEGRUDGE OTHERS WHO DO NOT VALUE IT. We are all fit, attractive, and very successful too, so we have no problem attracting men.

Honestly, many men aren't that good in bed, especially over the long haul, so there is a constant one-sided push to keep things interesting. I often get stereotyped too, for being interested in and knowledgeable about sex. Men think that since you are "good" you must have many miles on you and this is the furthest thing from the truth. I was celibate for at least 10 years, so most married women will have more "miles" of their particular model than me. I am also very particular about my partners, so most won't make the "cut." I know I know that if I get into a relationship with someone who doesn't value sex, that I will not be happy.

Because our society has such negative connotations of women and sex, think slut shaming, it is actually very difficult to be a high-libido woman in America.

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How can you be high drive and not have sex for 10 years? I don’t consider myself high drive anymore (mid thirties), but I could never go 1 month without sex[/quote]

It was a combined 10 years and there was a pregnancy in the mix. There was a lot of self-control and meditation during those years too :wink: [/quote]

Combined or not you are not high drive... [/quote]

Mmm, ok.[/quote]

Marry a man, have kids with him, if after 10 years you still want to have sex everyday than yes, you are high libido. Being single and liking sex is NOT the same thing.[/quote]

Oh, so only people in marriages can be high libido. That sounds like a bored bedroom. Mmm, ok. [/quote]

What I mean is that most women are high libido when single. I wanted it all the time and could never go without it (like you did). After 8 years of marriage and 2 young kids, my desire for sex with my husband decreased significantly. For the first 2 years we would have sex several times a day. I was by far the woman with the highest sex drive he had ever met. OP’s situation is similar to mine and not to yours. You might be high libido (I doubt it since you could go 10 years without it), but things change once you are married with kids.[/quote]

You are just tired of your husband. [/quote]

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