Reply to Can I not invite my ILs?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Can I not invite my ILs?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]14:13, the solution to this is not to pressure women to be the most perfect DILs who treat everyone the same.  The solution is to raise your SONS to grow up and value their nuclear family ties.  So that the husbands in these situations will be in charge of nurturing and maintaining these relationships.

I don't resent my inlaws for wanting time with my kids.  I LOVE that they love my kids.  It's wonderful.  I do resent that I am supposed to treat them equal to my own mother.   Things have been better since I've nudged them to go through my DH and not me.[/quote]

YES! I have trouble treating them the same as my mom and dad. I think I'd go insane if I had to keep things 100% equal. I call my mom daily and talk about my kids. My mom means everything to me. If I had to call my MIL daily, I wouldn't be able to deal. I would probably call my mom way less so I had to call my MIL less, which isn't fair to anyone. [/quote]

Making sure your kids think of them as equally important is not the same as you thinking of them as equally important. [/quote]

The dad should have that responsibility. He should talk about his family's history and things his parents like. He should put his parents first (over his inlaws) and let the kids see that. It's not on the mom. [/quote]

It is on both of you. The dad is responsible IMO for maintaining relations with his family. He should be the one sending cards/texts/whatever. He should be the one managing disagreements when they come up. But if mom is inviting one set of grandparents to an event and not the other then mom isn't pulling the reasonable amount of weight she should be as a member of the family. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics