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Reply to "How do you know if your marriage is dead beyond repair—and do you stay for kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you have given up on your marriage a while ago.  Not sure what advice you want to hear.  Your options are 1) status quo which brings financial security and more access to children and minimizing disruption to their lives, or 2) cheating and staying a little more sane, or 3) divorce.

I would choose option 2, I think most parents do what they need to do to stay married and sane.

I think you have a bit of a rosy picture of option 3.  What do you think most marriages look like?  I mean, my spouse and I are roommates, friends, co-parents, and we carve out time 1x per week to have sex because he wants to and we need that bond.  I know there are couples with kids who still tear up the sheets and have wild passion but they are in the minority.

My parents divorced, I am fine but I also don't want to underestimate the massive hassle that follows and the fact my parents don't see their grandchildren that often because frankly they don't get along and they re-married crazy people I try to avoid.

Also, color me skeptical that your DH isn't cheating.  Few men would stay faithful if sexless for months, let alone years.

Point being, it sounds like you have 80% of a good marriage and while I am sure you can find sex and perhaps love again, its much harder to find the rest that you already have.[/quote]

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