Reply to What Do you Say to Inappropriately Prying, Nosy Parents about College Acceptances?

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "What Do you Say to Inappropriately Prying, Nosy Parents about College Acceptances?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it because your kid got accepted to what DCUM considers a mediocre school?  Just own it!  [/quote]

This whole thread is funny! I am going thru this now as a friend is being really quiet about his DC's college acceptances and I'm the type that is okay with announcing news to the world because I feel good about where our DC got accepted.  Here's the interesting thing. Friend would be clamoring from the rooftops if his DC had good prospects for college. But I know that is not the case. So when things are good for the friend, the friend is open and happy to share news. But when things are not as positive, then it becomes a silent game and I am seen as bragging about my DC. Honestly, I cannot win, but I guarantee you that if friend's DC had done better in high school, friend would be shouting from the rooftops right now/victory lapping about DC's college pick![/quote]

^^you sound like a very smug sort of person. I wouldn't tell you anything--and you would judge me for that. [/quote]

Smug as it may possibly sound to you (and I am a very nice person), I will never apologize for sharing any family news -- good or bad -- to others where I see fit. This is my happiness and my feeling of pride. If others internalize my happiness as their failure, this is on them because I am only broadcasting my joy. If I am cordial and kind to others, but happened to be a person who gets excited about my own life, people like you will always see anything I say as smugness.  If I bought new shoes and shared the news with everyone, I can hear you say "oh she's so smug." If I got that great big house that I worked my butt off for 20 years and smiled telling people the story about how I saved every last penny, I can hear you say "she thinks she's so cool with her new big house."

You are a downer. And so is my friend, who has no problem telling everyone he knows that he grew up in a tony location in the U.S. that is very popular in the media and rich travel circles...or that he does this and that or has this advantage or that advantage.

My friend can dish it when he's top dog but really wants everyone to be respectful and silent when others attain something that he perhaps wanted and did not get-- such as in this case of a good college choice for DC. So I don't think I'm the one with the problem -- I share the good and bad and eat my humble pie if needed. It's my friend who only wants to share the good and get the heaps of praise when he's accomplishing what he feels is important, and then wants everyone to play considerate and mindful when things do not go his way. I hope you are not that person too. [/quote]

Pat, I'd like to buy a paragraph, please.[/quote]

And I actually agree with some of the later posters...

The college choice is a personal one for each DC and his/her family. Where you eventually decide to go to college is your choice, whether you got into an HYP-ish college, or are attending the local community college. And your DC has to own that choice.

I think most people are just happy when they reach a goal they have set out for themselves. Perhaps there is a bit of competition baked in to the accomplishment -- your friend's DC received a golden ticket to Harvard and your DC didn't...Be happy about your DC's journey and what your DC accomplished and reveal in that happiness. But it's not good if so many people are shying away from engaging in the conversation because they don't feel their DC's results measure up. That should never be the case. Your DC performed according to his/her best abilities, and that is something you should always be proud of as a parent. If you are proud, then no need to hide/duck from the conversation.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics