Reply to DH is going to blow a gasket. Give me strength.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is going to sound really oversimplified, but you are in a good place because you are done. Because you can walk away, you have all the power. I recommend you see a lawyer first and get all your ducks in a row and financially and logistically - know the law about whether you can take the kids, leave the house, etc. act as if you expect a divorce and expect him to play dirty.

My mom had an awful temper my whole childhood and well into my 30s. She’s just a total bitch. She’s always the victim. No one can do anything right. She used to swear at my dad and I and throw things constantly. We were always on eggshells. One day in my late 20s I decided I was done. When she threw her fits I just reacted totally calmly and deadpan. I took away her power by deciding I didn’t care and that I wasn’t going to let her upset me. It made her super mad - like a toddler being ignored. I didn’t cut her off, I just would sit and listen. Eventually she realized she couldn’t get what she wanted by throwing a fit. We have a great relationship now. [/quote]

OP here and I appreciate your input about a strategy for dealing with the tantrums. I don’t want to divorce my husband. I don’t want to take my kids’ father away, because he is honestly good to them and loves them. I want to be able to have difficult adult conversations with him without him blowing up and running off, I want him to be nicer and more patient, even when we’re in the sh*t. I know these are our most stressful years and I don’t want to give up under the pressure, but I’ve got to have a partner in this, not another petulant kid to parent. I don’t want to throw around the threat of divorce carelessly, but I do need him to realize his behavior is serious enough that I’ve considered leaving just to get a break from it.[/quote]

He’a Not going to have a conversation or try to change unless he knows you are done putting up with his selfish behavior. [/quote]

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