Reply to If you were abused as a child by your parents, how do you cope with it now?

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[quote=Anonymous]I had a very similar upbringing, OP.  I graduated high school when I was very young, left the house, and cut myself off emotionally from them.  My sister didn't and fell into drugs and abusive relationships.  She's been sober for a year but was just arrested for domestic violence (assault with a deadly weapon) when her boyfriend called the police during a fight.  It's terrible how the violence becomes part of you.  I fight it every day and am breaking the cycle of violence with my own kids.  I never hit and rarely, rarely yell (lots of speaking firmly/raising voices, but not out of control yelling), and I often remove myself from situations if I feel myself getting out of control.  It's hard, but it gets easier with practice.

My mother had a bad temper and hit out of anger, but my father was the one that did the sustained physical and emotional abuse.  I'm disappointed that my mom didn't protect us, but I've forgiven her.  My father had a very traumatic childhood and was mentally ill (bipolar and depression).  He has early Alzheimer's now and while I've forgiven him, I would never trust him.  If something happens to my mom, he's going in a nursing home without a second though.

You do better with your own kids and spouse, OP.  And get therapy if you're struggling.  Good luck, OP![/quote]

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