Reply to Daughter is feeling nervous about new step siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP but I have to say I've been there/done that and it is not the fairy tale you think it will be. When 2 people are madly in love they think the kids will be fine, everyone will adjust, love conquers all, blah blah blah.

What will happen is that every kid will feel short changed and you and your fiance will both feel that the others children are spoiled and you each don't discipline them strongly enough.

I implore you to find a therapist that specializes in blending families and you and your fiance meet with her/him for several months prior to the wedding. You can set realistic expectations and boundaries that way.

[/quote]

This.  People want to believe that their love will make everyone else have a good experience too, but that's not how it works.  This child has already lost a lot of parental time and attention, and been through an enormous upheaval.  Now you're putting her through another one.  Maybe it will all work out for the best, but you cannot deny that this is a huge change and it is reasonable for her to be concerned.  You are about to undertake being the stepmother of TWO teenagers and you just will not have the same amount of time for your daughter.  That's just the fact of the matter.  Denying it will only reinforce her belief that she is alone.[/quote]

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