Reply to How to advise MIL's friend, who is barred from any real relationship with her grandson?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How to advise MIL's friend, who is barred from any real relationship with her grandson?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some things aren't fixable.   Hopefully as the child grows older the mom will loosen the reins and mil's bestie can have more of a relationship, but for now, I agree with pp's that lending a sympathic ear is about the only option. [/quote]

"The mom" isn't the only one responsible for her child's relationship or lack thereof with the grandmother; her husband is equally responsible, if not more so, as the grandmother is his own mother.

I hate how people always blame the DIL, as if husbands/sons/brothers have zero responsibility.[/quote]

I totally agree with you that the grandson's father should be facilitating a relationship, but from the story op tells, it's the kid's mom who is actively blocking it, so in that case it's the mom who has to loosen up.  [/quote]

Yeah, well the son can talk to his wife about that, can't he? If he chooses not to, then he is co-signing her degree of rigidity, so he is equally responsible for the lack of facilitation.[/quote]

+1 DH would love to defer to me and have me be the "Official Family Boundary Enforcer" because it would be easier on him and he could play good cop.  It's specifically because of scenarios like this, where all the blame is laid at the feet of the woman while the man gets off without so much as a nasty look that I won't.  I force HIM to play the bad cop when his mom wants to smoke around our kid, let an 8 year old cousin babysit, whatever because if I were the one to say No, some jackwang on the internet would be claiming I'm ruining MILs change for "any real relationship" with our DC.  [/quote]

wow, you sound like a real joy, PP. [/quote]

NP. Why? Because she doesn't want an 8-year-old to watch her child? Because she doesn't want someone smoking in front of her child? On what planet does that make her anything other than a good mother with reasonable boundaries?[/quote]

because she equated that behavior with OP's situation, when OP didn't say anything remotely similar to it. [/quote]

Where did I claim OPs MILs Friend (seriously, 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon much?) was exhibiting behavior similar to my situation?  Oh wait, I didn't, because OP herself admitted that SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN THESE PEOPLE!  OP doesn't know what behavior caused the rift and still wants to insert herself into this family's issues.

OP, MYOB.  [/quote]

you said that if you commented on your someone smoking around your kid, "some jackwang on the internet" would criticize you. I wasn't talking about anyone smoking around my kid. I'm talking about a situation in which, even when I ask the kid's mom why she hates this woman (and, yes, I've asked multiple times because I actually know these people), she can't give me a reason.

So maybe you can stop equating the situations. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics